Warrior Princesses, the Sacred Hamster, and the Glass Ladder to Nowhere by SA RA

i very recently met a powerful warrior princess at PAM. yunuen’s bringing an ancient internal martial arts practice called Bagua to Berlin, LA and beyond, training an army of emerging warriors to fight with our spirit.  it suits the fiery awakening feminine principle in all of us. this involves intense core work, focus, meticulous attention to subtle nuances in the body. it’s performance, life, quantum healing, energy work, an act of defiance and expression of honor towards our ancestors – which includes the very trees and earth we circumscribe in the Taoist Dragon Circle Walk. each time the foot steps forward we remain with the gaze fixed back – the body as a perfect intersection of past and future. training the first day was difficult. i could feel all resistance arise up the spine with the discomfort of these new shapes our bodies take in a moment to moment confrontation between the desire for instant gratification with thoughts like ‘i want a snack what kind of snack’ versus the will to be totally present in perfecting the walk, which appears quite simple but in actuality there is A LOT going on, with many opposing forces – grounding vs ascending, reaching while remaining soft, breathing calmly down the ren meridian, keeping the tailbone down protecting the heart all while remaining soft like a child walking in a circle. i’m perspiring and frustrated but the warrior in me wants to get it right.

yunuen exudes a calm power that is Next Level Shit, a true tribal sister. she mentioned the detoxifying effect of the spinal twist. well later that night as i lay myself down feeling tiredly smug as a bug in a rug very ready for some deep R&R i found myself in a dream…


i know that i need to get somewhere, i’m holding a hamster in my hand who is under my care. the trouble is that part of the way involves swimming across the ocean. i put the hamster in my pocket and start swimming. the waves are turbulently choppy and i’m struggling. right at that moment i remember i’m still carrying the hamster in my pocket and start panicking that he can’t breathe. so i take him out of my pocket and while trying to remain afloat, i see that he’s not doing so well. his small body is swollen and transparent. his tiny face is coughing water, and barely breathing. i’m panicked, the only thing i can do now is to keep him in the palm of my hand above water as i attempt to swim with one arm. this is arduous as fuck. but somehow i do manage to make my way to land now. people here are jostling and elbowing each other to move through. i’m cradling this hamster trying to get to a safe place, praying that he’ll be ok, that he’ll survive. a very unsavory man approaches out of nowhere and curiously peers down to what i’m trying so preciously to protect in my hands, this little hamster who’s already been through enough who nearly drowned, and reaches towards me, aggressively petting him on the head and laughs grotesquely while i angrily try to turn away. i’m so infuriated with his total unconscious insensitivity that i want to murder him. but he’s bigger and stronger, and i have the hamster to protect. i hastily run away now to face my next challenge. i know that to get to where i need to go, i have to climb this glass ladder. it reaches up towards the sky, there’s nothing else around it. i place the hamster in my pocket, and start climbing. i am afraid of heights, and my palms start to sweat causing my hands to lose their grip more on each glass cylindrical rung of the ladder. each time i ascend, my body trembles and shakes more. i could see from the corner of my eye now that people on the ground level are tiny specks indicating that i’m already quite far up but there’s still such a long way to go… i’m in despair and in that moment of sheer terror, the hamster falls out of my pocket, i see him dropping all the way down, hitting the ground. ‘NooooooooooooooooooooooooooOoooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooo, Pearl!!!’ (i call him Pearl in my dream which is also the name of my pet poodle in real life). i’m crying so vehemently that it causes me to awaken from the dream but i’m still crying on this side of reality, sobbing like there’s no tomorrow, choking on my tears so devastated so sad, the saddest sad and the deepest sorry i’ve ever experienced. an overwhelming feeling of total powerlessness, and the cruel reality of total irreversibility sinking in. it didnt seem to matter that it was a dream. the feeling was more real and acutely true than anything. i stayed in this state for i dont know how long. the floodgates of pain and grief completely open. i feel Pearl the poodle peering at me in the dark wondering what the hell is going on. i bring her closer towards me, so comforted by her existence, my tears wetting her soft lamby fur. she starts to snore softly, and i eventually fall back into the next chapter of the dream.

i’m now on a giant ship out on the ocean, sitting on the deck with Pearl the hamster. someone i knew before recognizes me and as we get into a conversation, i’m led towards a concert happening elsewhere on the ship. the music irritates me, and i notice that everyone who’s participating in the party are actually mutant zombies with parts of their face melting off and missing appendages having a grand time. suddenly i remember that i left Pearl on the deck. with utmost determination to get the hell out of where i am and find Pearl, i move swiftly with laser sharp focus.  i realize now that i’m able to descend the stairs skipping multiple steps at a time totally effortlessly. i’m practically flying. and then i realize OMG i AM flying. i feel the confident elation of being in total control and ease with this new power. like an eagle i soar above all the raver mutants and scan the ship getting an aerial view until i locate Pearl, the tiny furry dot still there waiting for me on the deck. i then swoop down to retrieve him.

i wake up. i feel Hamster Pearl’s spirit safe in my pocket. later that morning in a Taoist medicinal massage session with Yunuen, she specially brings out an exquisitely beautiful eagle feather that she uses to fan the smoke of frankincense over my body…